


come out, you're hiding

by moonflower



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking Games, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romantic Fluff, Truth or Dare, dotae are both kinda dumb i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 10:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18008900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonflower/pseuds/moonflower
Summary: Taeyong didn't really plan on going out that night, not when it was too cold out and he still had laundry to do. But he still ends up drinking a little too much and doing something he wasn't really supposed to.





	come out, you're hiding

**Author's Note:**

> honestly...this is just some self-indulgent dotae i was supposed to finish months ago but only came around to binge writing the past two weeks. oh well!  
>   
> title from flor's album of the same name. the song [unsaid](https://open.spotify.com/track/0S4FCQMcUkTAidn5CjzM6j) (also from the album) pretty much sums up dotae in this one

February is always colder than Taeyong anticipates.

There’s nothing melancholy in the way he remembers winter, contrary to popular belief. No painful memories attached to the dropping temperatures that make his bones jitter, no remnants of a former lover coming to haunt him in the dry tempest of snowfall. What catches him off guard is how his body always fails to adjust to the cold, always seeking to be in the comfort of somewhere warm.

Which is why Taeyong finds himself in between Jungwoo and Ten on a particularly cold Saturday evening in February, trying to drown out the ruckus that ensues in the confines of Yuta’s apartment. He doesn’t mind the noise or the mess, but he doesn’t really know how he ended up where he is at that particular place in time. Taeyong figures he could be doing something else at the hour as he observes how chaos unravels in front of him. 

Chaos takes shape in his six friends, all still mildly intoxicated yet already far gone from their usual image presented as functioning and contributing members of society.  What Taeyong is presented with is a wonder in itself, showing how alcohol can bring out the least expected in people. 

He starts thinking about the laundry he has yet to do and the life decisions he could’ve made to make his night better when Jungwoo spills his drink on him. Taeyong is not pleased.

“Jungwoo!” Taeyong exclaims, immediately jumping from his position on the floor. He forgets about the frigid cold still entwined around him and feels heat rush to his face. It wasn’t a huge spill, but significant enough in size to have Ten clutch his stomach in laughter and have the others look to him in concern. 

Jungwoo manages to hiccup an apology. “’M sorry, hyung! Ten keeps trying to hug me even with you in between us and accidentally made me spill my drink on you.” 

“Yeah, Tae, get out of the way for once because you’re disrupting the love I’m trying to give Jungwoo.”

“You should already stop drinking, Jungwoo. You’re nearing your limits and we all know that’s not good for everyone here,” Taeyong scolds.

“Stop being too uptight.” Ten rolls his eyes as he takes up the empty space Taeyong left on the floor and situates his torso in between Jungwoo’s legs. “Let him live a little, he’s an adult who knows the consequences of his actions.”

“Oh, like that one time he said he could handle his alcohol but threw up his guts on me and passed out on my sofa then went to class the next morning without bothering to shower? Please.”

“Hyung!” Jungwoo whines, trying to push off Ten from his lap as his laughter fills the room and echoes in Taeyong’s mind. “I’ve learned my lesson, stop bringing up that disaster.”

“I don’t blame him for bringing it up,” Ten rises from the floor, wiping the remnants of amusement from his eyes, “you’re a general disaster when you drink so it’s kinda, like, really inevitable something like that is going to happen again.”

Jungwoo opens his mouth to counter the offence Ten launched at him and before Taeyong can hear what he has to say, he’s already out of earshot and finding another place to sulk for the night.

 

He passes by Yuta and Johnny sitting by the table with the latter hunched over the surface, seemingly groaning in despair as the other one watches on, eyes dancing with uncertainty. He then walks to the kitchen and sees Yukhei and Mark calling for Jaehyun, inviting the older to watch some video on one of their phones, the shrill background music bouncing off the walls and making the room seem smaller. Taeyong hears them laugh in unison before he makes his retreat to the bedroom, hoping to seek refuge for his newfound desire for seclusion.

Taeyong, however, finds himself with some company.

“What the fuck,” Taeyong remarks, eyes squinting in disbelief, “I haven’t seen you all night? I almost thought you went home.”

Doyoung hums from his place on the bed and barely spares a glance towards the presence that joins him. “That means you were looking for me, huh?”

“Well…yeah? You were the one that made me go here for drinks in the first place.”

“You’re making it sound like it’s my fault you’re being miserable right now.”

Doyoung is right and Taeyong hates how in tune he is with the mood he’s surrounded himself with and the fact that Doyoung feels the need to point out the absence of his own enthusiasm.

Taeyong thinks back to their conversation earlier that afternoon, with Doyoung posing an invitation through text. Of course, Taeyong wasn’t obliged to entertain him, knows Doyoung only bickered with him for the sake of it, and that he’s free to make the choice of going to Yuta’s place for the night. But when has Taeyong ever declined Doyoung?

“Whatever you say, Doie.” Taeyong sighs, walking to rummage through Yuta’s clothes in search of a clean shirt to replace the one he’s wearing. He sees Doyoung in his periphery as he changes right in front of him, repressing the satisfaction simmering in his chest from the way the younger’s eyes seems to widen in interest.

“You know,” Doyoung starts, and Taeyong doesn’t miss the hitch in his voice, “if you’re upset that no one’s paying attention to you because they’re already kinda drunk, why bother going here in the first place? Didn’t you have some laundry to do anyway?”

“I don’t really know. Guess I just wanted to see my friends.”

“Even me?”

_Especially you._ “Gross. Definitely not you.”

Contrasting his words, Taeyong finds himself laying down in the vacant space on the bed, right beside Doyoung but not quite in his personal space. Which is why he slinks himself further, closing the distance between them and reaches to hug Doyoung across his stomach. Taeyong is acutely aware of how the younger is hesitant with receiving physical affection and he waits for the voice of complaint as he closes his eyes, but it never comes.

Instead, he hears Doyoung pause the video he was watching on his phone and the scuffle of the bedsheets as he adjusts his body so that they’re face to face with each other. Taeyong opens his eyes and is greeted by the raise of Doyoung’s eyebrow and his hand adjusting his arm wrapped around him, enclosing him in a tighter embrace. Taeyong almost forgets the cold air that sits idly at the tips of his fingers and finds himself holding his breath.

With this distance, he can see the light being reflected in Doyoung’s eyes, pearl drops of curiosity staring right at him. With this distance, he can capture the steady beat of Doyoung’s breathing, along with the longing to stay this way forever. With this distance, all Taeyong needs to do is lean his head forward and do the one thing he’s certain of doing in this lifetime: kiss Kim Doyoung.

But he doesn’t. Taeyong wouldn’t dare.

He sees Doyoung narrow his eyes in the silence and Taeyong only smiles back at him, savoring the moments where he gets to indulge his selfish nature and pretend they’re actually more than best friends.

“You reek of alcohol,” Doyoung comments, reaching out to brush away the strands of pink hair plastered against Taeyong’s forehead, “drink too much?”

Taeyong lets out a sigh. “Not enough, truth be told. What about you? Still binging on Ted-Ed videos while avoiding our friends?”

“Maybe if you came on time earlier we could’ve done shots together, but you probably still had to fret over every single thing about your appearance before leaving the house. I’m already mellowing out, loser. I’ve already had my fun earlier.” Doyoung is smiling whe he says this, clearly enjoying the frown morphing itself on the elder’s features.

“You’re so mean,” is all Taeyong says in reply. He deliberately leaves out the part where he put in extra effort to look good for Doyoung and no one else. Well, maybe for himself too, but he always did want to garner his best friend’s attention, even in the form of affectionate insults.

There’s a shared ease unique only to the two of them and Taeyong basks in it, letting himself fall into the safety only being with Doyoung can provide. He almost drowses off into slumber, ignoring the younger’s stare that burns through his eyelids.

Taeyong finds he can take down all his walls as long as his best friend is around, which is why he doesn’t notice the interrupted silence until Yuta has successfully thrown himself on top of the both of them.

“You guys!” His voice borders on a whine and Taeyong muses how much he’s drank the past hours.

“Yes, Yuta?” Doyoung sighs and throws a glance of disdain. Yuta only pouts in return.

“That’s hyung to you,” Yuta says, jumping off their three-man dog pile to sit at the edge of the bed, “anyway, why are you two out here cuddling like two grandpas? The night is young! I still have drinks! We’re playing truth or dare!”

Truth or dare, or as Taeyong likes to call it: Borderline Interrogation And Exploitation. He’s still willing to participate though.

With great effort, he manages to part from the warmth of Doyoung’s embrace and is immediately enveloped in the subdued cold that never really leaves him. Except when he’s with Doyoung.

“You joining?” Taeyong asks, looking down at the image of what he considers an angel. His angel simply frowns, looking towards Yuta who is currently talking to his anime figurines on his shelf to bid them good night, then back at Taeyong, whose eyes call on a challenge.

Doyoung takes it. “Sure. Wouldn’t miss the chance of watching you turn into the complete dumbass that you truly are.”

“Ha-ha. You think you’re so special just because you have high alcohol tolerance.”

“Literally everyone has high tolerance with alcohol when compared to you.” Doyoung sticks his tongue out at him and gets off the bed, throwing a pillow towards Yuta who is babbling about the downsides of recreational smoking to Miku Hatsune.

Taeyong just sighs, never really understanding the intrinsic nature of any of his friends.

 

Chaos once again makes its presence known in the current state of disarray Taeyong arrives at. The noise is drowned out by his own laughter, stomach caving in with joy over something he doesn’t even remember. All he knows is that he’s already said too much, drank too much, and still waiting on the minuscule chance of making the untold break through the confines of secrecy. The untold being his feelings for Doyoung, of course.

Their game of truth or dare is tamer than he expects, no drunk-dialling of exes or derailing the night into a frenzy of audacious taunting. Instead, they let themselves agree to Jaehyun’s proposition of a certain punishment whenever one skips their turn if ever the bottle lands on them. It’s not much of a punishment, but it resonates in Taeyong’s mind, his memory clinging on to it and transforming it into a belief that something is bound to happen.

“Skip out on a dare or refuse to speak out the truth, then you’ll have to kiss someone present in this room right now. That, or finish a whole pitcher of this weird fucking drink Yukhei made,” Jaehyun had said earlier. Both are alternative recipes of disaster, in their own right.

The bottle is being spun again, Ten previously opting to kiss Yukhei on both his cheeks instead of revealing what went down the night he decided to go out with someone named Guanheng. Yukhei only laughed, clearly not minding the action because he got to bear hug Ten after and tease him about said guy while everyone else hollers.

Taeyong is mid-laugh as Ten struggles to free himself from the confines of Yukhei’s arms when the bottle lands on him. His laugh catches in his throat and he forces himself to smile as everyone’s attention drifts towards him. He sees Yuta and Johnny in his periphery, his other two closest friends snickering to themselves while Taeyong awaits his fate.

It’s Yuta who smiles at him first, the one he uses when he knows he’s about to get his way.

“Alright,” Johnny says, clasping his hands together, “this is pretty easy ‘cause you know we love you man, and it’s really out of curiosity why we’ve decided to ask you this.”

“We just want to know…” Yuta trails off and Taeyong sees him glance over to where Doyoung is seated, who seems indifferent to everything happening around him.

“We want to know how many people you’ve actually, like, kissed while drunk.”

“What?” Taeyong asks in surprise. “That’s it? How interesting do you find the people I make out with while considerably intoxicated?”

“Considerably intoxicated,” Mark and Jaehyun repeat, giggling amongst themselves. Taeyong can only give a half-hearted glare in return.

Johnny only nods. “Yeah, that’s it. Why? Chickening out from answering it?”

“Boo,” Ten drawls in displeasure, sticking his tongue out towards Taeyong, “it’s fine if you’ve smooched a lot of people while drunk, we’re all well aware of how… _passionate_ you are with these things.”

“They didn’t nickname you Vacuum for nothing,” Jungwoo laughs.

The reason being Taeyong gets unreasonably affectionate, even by his standards, whenever he crosses the fine line between reasonably tipsy and nearing blackout drunk. He got the nickname from the one time they went out drinking and he his senses were overrun by the amount of tequila he had tasted for the first time in his life. As a result, Taeyong made out with people saying he couldn’t feel his mouth and his lips and worked his way to sobriety by reaching out in the dark, only to taste the unfamiliarity of what he was doing.

In the end, Ten and Yukhei had recorded most of it and started calling him Vacuum because of how he just pulled people towards him with his mouth wide open; almost like he was going to eat them, really.

“Fine.” Taeyong grumbles. Anything to stop them from bringing up the incident.

“Oooh,” Yuta whistles, “how many was it? Eight?”

“Honestly…I don’t know,” Taeyong confesses, his nose wrinkled in concentration while he thinks of all the nameless people he’s managed to kiss, “but I think it’s around fifteen—why does it even matter?”

Johnny chuckles along with their friends and walks toward where Taeyong is seated, only to whisper: “It doesn’t. But to Doyoung it does.”

Taeyong hits him on the shoulder. “What is that supposed to mean?” It comes out as a whisper as well, almost like the weight of his curiosity is too much to bear.

All Taeyong gets is a shrug in return before he’s back to the pace of things, the bottle already spun again and landing on Jungwoo. The air almost crackles with interest. Jungwoo hasn’t had a turn all night.  

“This should be interesting,” Jaehyun says. Taeyong sees his gaze flickers towards where Doyoung is seated and back to where Jungwoo is.

There’s a certain expectation stirring in the room, knowing stares flitting between Taeyong, Jungwoo, and Doyoung. The way Taeyong sees it is a carefully crafted scheme, ready to be set in motion.

Jaehyun initiates the plan. “Jungwoo, I dare you to kiss Doyoung.”

“What?” Taeyong asks far too quickly for his own liking. Doyoung stares at him.

“I mean…why would you dare Jungwoo to do that? And why Doyoung? Why not yourself or I don’t know, someone else who’s not…Doyoung?” Taeyong is spewing out more words than necessary and he knows this. Knows that he has no place to interfere and should not find any problem with other boys kissing his best friend. 

But he does find a problem with it anyway. He has for the past five years. 

Jungwoo wholly laughs in return and Taeyong notices Doyoung swallow down whatever he’s been meaning to say.

“I’ll only do it if Doyoung allows it.” Jungwoo smiles and somehow Taeyong knows he’s the butt of some joke going on between everyone that wasn’t him or Doyoung. 

Much to Taeyong’s surprise, Doyoung only shrugs and places his index finger on his right cheek, tapping twice on his skin. He watches as Jungwoo reaches forward and kisses the soft skin of Doyoung’s cheek while Taeyong can only wonder how it would feel to be in his place.

Their other friends express their disappointment over the lack of action, clearly anticipating some more spicy than a kiss to the cheek. But their game continues on, but Taeyong’s head isn’t really in it.

A montage unfolds in front of him, things catching his eye with the lack of focus his mind brings him. In it he sees his friends laughing, doubling over and eyes holding the happiness Taeyong always wishes they could have every day. He hears their voices slurring recounts of different incidents they’ve garnered since they last saw each other, each word clinging to some semblance of coherency. He observes the small things going on between all of them from the way Mark has all but passed out on Yukhei’s lap to Yuta sparking up his political opinions to whoever’s willing to listen.

In a way, the night has already begun its descent into the quiet, giving way to hear the calls of rest their bodies need to recover from the copious amounts of alcohol they’ve managed to consume.

“Okay,” Ten calls out, “one last round of spinning and then we order McDonald’s. I want nuggets and I’m not sharing.”

“Hey, unfair!” Johnny yells back, voice unrestrained and entangled with his own intoxication. “You literally ate half of my nuggets the last time we ordered. Your debt needs to be paid first!”

“Ugh, stop fighting over nuggets and let’s get the last turn over and done with. I want to be the one to suggest the dare,” Jaehyun says, effectively cutting the conversation.

Ten glares at Johnny and only sighs as he places the empty bottle of wine on the table and pivots it with his wrist. Taeyong sits back on his chair and promptly leans forward when he sees the bottle halt, head pointing at him.

“This isn’t up for argument,” Jaehyun remarks when Taeyong opens his mouth to say he chooses to admit some truth, “you’re getting a dare, hyung. I dare you to kiss Doyoung.”

“What?” Doyoung asks, almost indignant. Taeyong tries not to dwell on the pang of hurt piercing through him when he hears the disbelief in the other’s voice, almost sounding like disgust to his ears. 

Taeyong musters a laugh. “What’s with you and asking people to kiss Doyoung, Jaehyun? You know that’s not really his thing.”

“You’re right, it’s not,” Jaehyun responds, eyes shining with intent, “but if it’s you, it might be his thing too.”

“Jaehyun!” Doyoung complains, the same time Taeyong mutters a gruntled, “What?”

“Just get it over with, we all know you’ve been waiting to do this anyway,” Ten comments, patting his stomach, “I really want my nuggets now. So hurry up!”

Yuta looks up from where his head had been resting on the table. “No pressure though, I’m sure Ten’s nuggets can wait.”

Before Taeyong can reply, Doyoung looks over towards him. His face is alight, pupils shaking in apprehension. “I’ll only do it if you’re actually down for it.”

Taeyong almost forgets how to breathe.

“What?” He asks, the third time that night. It comes off harsher than he intends and Doyoung looks almost pained.

“I—I mean…,” Doyoung starts, but doesn’t finish, “you know what? Never mind, this is so stupid anyway I can’t believe we’re being forced do this? Our own friends—“ 

Taeyong cuts him off by letting his body run on instinct, pulling Doyoung’s face to his and pressing their lips together. He measures time in the restraint he puts between them and his desire to make their kiss much more than what it is. Taeyong manages to hold himself back, barely hanging on his own sense of self preservation and only wills the distance to grow between them after he hears the low whistles the rest of their friends are giving. 

When they fully part, Taeyong is unable to look in Doyoung’s general direction and is left wondering how the other feels about what he just did; he may have done something he’s been wanting to do since he first came around to realizing his attraction, but he can’t say the same for his best friend. He tries not the think about it too much.

They both ignore the collective giggling between their other friends who are watching the whole thing be recounted on Johnny’s phone, somehow managing to record it all.

“Alright,” Taeyong announces, swallowing down his own mortification, “it’s time to order the God-forsaken McDonald’s.”

 

✧

 

Doyoung didn’t exactly hold any regard to how his first kiss should be, but he supposed it could be better than doing it on a dare. He’s not exactly the kind of person who envisions an exact course of events of how and when and with who he’ll receive his first kiss, never really let his imagination run wild at the prospect of having what would be something perfect for him. Doyoung wasn’t picky, long as there was consent he would have gladly made anyone his first kiss. He just wants to be actually _ready_ for it. 

Alas, the circumstances surrounding him are not entirely in his favor and now he suffers. 

It’s been hours since Taeyong took him by surprise and kissed him, bordering on a quick peck than anything, but it imprints itself on his lips and the warmth of his best friend’s hands on his shoulders hasn’t quite left him yet. In short, Lee Taeyong is all Doyoung can think about. 

Not that it’s anything new to him. Taeyong has managed to secure a permanent place at the back of Doyoung’s mind for a long time now, always in his periphery of thought without meaning to be. It’s his guilty pleasure, satiating his own secret crush by idealizing him instead: a whole version of Taeyong who likes him back. 

Doyoung can only sigh. Ten already had his nuggets, surprising everyone when he shared them with Johnny. It brings a smile to Doyoung’s face as he picks up neglected trash from the floor, opting to help erase any physical remnants of their night.

He wishes he could do the same for his memory, but Doyoung thinks it’s better to keep the embarrassment shared over some kiss than having nothing to look back on at all.

Discarding the crumpled wrappers along with the subsiding discomfort in his gut, Doyoung then collects his coat and walks out into the small balcony of Yuta’s apartment. He’s immediately greeted by the frigid cold and he welcomes it, raising his arms and bringing them around himself. 

Doyoung has always liked his solitude and he’s satisfied with the way the wind breezes past him, echoing in his ears almost as if it was trying to strike up a conversation. He basks in the silence of the night, spreading like a stain and dripping into his surroundings. He finds that he can temporarily forget about what happened earlier when he’s alone like this.

Before he can take out his phone to take a photo of the empty street below him, barely seen in the flicker of street lights surrounding it, the glass door opens behind him and he’s met with Taeyong’s pleading gaze.

An eyebrow is raised. “Um, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk…you know, about earlier.”

“What’s there to talk about?” Doyoung asks, worried at the course their conversation is taking.

“Well for starters, I want to apologize,” Taeyong replies, eyes clearly searching Doyoung’s face. Whenever he’s on the receiving end of this kind of gaze, he always feels too exposed; Taeyong always did know him better than himself sometimes.

“I know I kind of acted out of line earlier, I don’t really know what came onto me. I’m sorry if I made you really uncomfortable or something I know you’re probably really annoyed and I’m so stupid, please just call me dumb and yell at me and do your whole nagging thing. I don’t want to lose you or anything like that.”

Taeyong lets out a deep breath after his short speech, seemingly relying on his mind to speak for him more than his mouth and Doyoung has to resist a smile.

“You do know that was my first kiss, right?” He asks in lieu of answer, knowing full well his best friend had no clue.

“No I did not!” Taeyong almost yells, the shock painting his face along with the blush seeping into his cheeks. “Oh my God, I’m actually the worst best friend—no, person. I’m the worst person ever I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to—“

“I don’t mind it because it’s you,” Doyoung says quietly, voice almost reluctant of letting those words reach the other’s ears. But it does and the two of them lay complete still in a beat of silence.

“Why?” Is the response Doyoung gets.

“What do you mean ‘why’?” Doyoung rolls his eyes and leans against the door.

“I mean why don’t you mind because it’s me?” Now it’s Taeyong whose voice can barely be heard but somehow Doyoung can still predict his next words, “Is it because I’m your best friend and it’s not like, awkward between us or anything?”

“If you put it that way, then yeah, I guess so,” Doyoung opts to stare at the snow covering his feet instead of focusing on his best friend’s face, “but I want you to know that I liked it. I always did like the thought of kissing you.”

“Just the thought?” Taeyong asks, settling beside him and leaning his weight against the door.

“Maybe if you did better I would like the act of kissing you as much as the thought of it.”

“Maybe if you weren’t so insufferable I would have kissed you sooner.”

“Maybe if you actually _did_ we could be doing much more than kissing already.”

Taeyong is unable to reply to that one, letting his head fall on the crevice between Doyoung’s neck and his shoulder as he whines. Doyoung can only laugh in return.

Remembering how his best friend doesn’t have the right biology to handle the cold well, he voices out his concern and immediately circles his arms around Taeyong’s torso under his parka. “Aren’t you cold? You’re so stupid, why did you come out into cold like this? All you had to do was ask and I’d gladly have our conversation inside.”

“I didn’t want the others to hear.” Doyoung doesn’t glance at Taeyong as he speaks, but he knows the pout making its way onto his features.

“Oh, you mean our friends who are passed out on around the living room? I’m sure they’d love to hear all about us too.”

“You’re so mean, Doyoung.”

He hums in response. “You wouldn’t have it any other way though, would you?”

Doyoung doesn’t even flinch when Taeyong’s lips reach his cheek. “No, definitely not.”

The two of them lay still in each other’s embrace for a few moments before the cold comes biting again and they choose to retreat to the warmth of Yuta’s bedroom as they had done so earlier that night.

Neither of them mention the substantial shift in their relationship or the heavy implications hanging in the air of their earlier conversation. They lay side by side before drifting into slumber, but not without a few more kisses shared in between their giggles and the satisfaction of finally getting what they’ve been waiting for engulfing them whole.

Some things are best left unsaid, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! i'd love to hear your thoughts on this! comments and kudos are highly appreciated ♡  
> (especially since this is my first actual nct fic hhhh)  
>   
> come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/yukdocheng) or [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/reply1988)!


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